Creative Running.

“The educated man *or woman* who does not move through the countryside with his own thoughts as his companions is in danger of never making the real discovery. Who he is.”  – Dr. George Sheehan

 

Well, Hello there.

I was going back and forth in my mind with how to start this – do I point out that I haven’t written anything in a while, then offer up a laundry list of excuses as to why? Or do I just begin again as if I never left? Obviously, I settled on pointing out that I’ve been gone, but with no further explanation. Let’s just say I was “busy” and rejoice in the fact that I’ve returned.

Now with that out of the way, I can say what I came here to say. I was running on the treadmill this morning, staring out the window at the most god-awful weather, thinking random thoughts. Suddenly, I found myself asking myself what I was doing. And no, I don’t mean running on the treadmill, I mean overall. Like big picture. You know, the old  “Why am I here?, “Who am I?” kinda stuff. (I’m Jean Val Jean! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. #theatergeek)

Anyway, I didn’t come up with the answers. I don’t think a person can run long enough to ever answer questions such as those. But I did start the old wheels turning again. And I realized maybe that was also why I haven’t been writing – the wheels haven’t been turning. Yes, I’ve been running. Yes, I’ve been moving my life forward. No, my life doesn’t suck. It’s just been creatively….quiet.

Maybe I owe it in part to this book I’ve been reading:

To run, or not to run, that is the question.

It has gotten me thinking about the “why we do what we do” part of life. Maybe it has to do with some conversations I’ve been having lately with a few people about creating again and how to get that magic back. Maybe it has to do with how much wine I’ve been drinking lately. I’m thinking it’s some wonderful combination of all three.

The wonderful wisdom of wine.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I’m just not creative anymore, when I used to have so many creative outlets. I baked, I sewed, I wrote, I took photographs, I made music. One by one, I ceased participating in all of these activities. I cannot explain why. I have asked myself many times. I tried to force myself to be creative. It didn’t work.

Recently, I have found myself baking again – just a little, but it’s a start. I have also found myself desperately wanting to write music again, but I haven’t yet been able to make that happen (but at least the desire is there). And today, I found my will to write.

I really wasn’t even sure what I was going to write about. In fact, when I started this, I had a different path leading to a different conclusion in mind. But just like life, we never know where the path may take us. This brings me back to running.

I have been running this entire time. A lot. I ran two marathons. I set a bunch of personal bests. I won my age group a few times. I’m proud of my running. I did wonder if running so much was the reason I wasn’t creating, but I really don’t think that was it. In fact, I think running actually WAS creating. Why do I run? Because I can. I can run wherever and whenever I feel like it. I can run for as long as I want, as short as I want, as fast as I want or slow as I want. I can run in the park, on the trail, at the gym, on my treadmill, or on the streets where I live. Running is never routine. That’s why I love it. It’s up to me when, where, how and why I do it. Part of me has always wanted to be part of a running group – I love running and people so it would make perfect sense – but I can’t do it. It would take away my biggest creative outlet. Everyday, I create my run. I never stopped being creative – I just didn’t see it until now.

So, I hope this leads me to write more, bake more, make music again and feel that creative energy flowing through my veins again; especially now that I realize it never left. I just needed a little help opening my eyes to see it.

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